Get your hair cut regularly, a week before you will look like you need one. Modern, but classic. Clean. Never too trendy.
Get your eyebrows plucked and trimmed. It’s not girly or feminine. It’s about details.
Clip your nails.
Shave often. Leave stubble. Never let the hairs over run the first thing anyone will notice about you.
Clothing. Dress better than you should.
Button downs, Oxfords. Solid, basic colors. Black, white, gray, blue. Thin, vertical stripes are fine. Never horizontal. Never short-sleeve.
Ties. Never more than two colors. No bizarre designs. Solid or stripes. Windsor, double windsor, half windsor or Kelvin. Should hit right at your belt. Never longer. Never shorter.
You should never see shirt between your belt and the bottom of your tie. You’re not Dilbert.
The belt matches your shoes. Black or brown. Basics.
For events, wear a suit. Blue or gray. Black is for funerals. Slim cut, with a vest. Same rules apply. Tie clip, attaching your tie to your shirt, two buttons down.
If you can afford one, buy a tuxedo. Black and white. Bow-ties only.
Outside of work. Solid color T-shirts, mostly white. Blues, blacks, grays are fine. V-neck, long-sleeve or short-sleeve, fitted. Henleys, same colors, fitted. No logos. No clever sayings.
Button-downs, two buttons undone.
Sweaters. V-neck, blue, black or gray. Fitted, layered.
Jeans. Blue or black. Khakis or brown pants. Gray. Not baggy, never too tight. Belted at the hip, should run down your leg straight and hit right at your boots when standing. Get them hemmed.
Boots. Clarks or Sperrys. Rugged-looking, loosely tied.
Jackets. Several of them. No designs, no emblems, no logos. Creative stitching. Buttons over zippers. Black, blue, gray, brown.
Heavy for winter. Wool. Lighter for spring and fall. Can’t have too many. Sleeves should hit right at the wrist, never longer.
A scarf, only when it’s chilly. Black, blue, or gray. Folded length wise, around the back of your neck and looped inside itself. Never too tight.
Watches. The face shouldn’t be too large. Round, rectangle or square. Leather band. Black or brown, matching your shoes and belt. No yellows, no reds, no magentas, no blues, no pinks.
A ring, only if you’re more than 50% Sicilian. Or married. No earrings.
Necklace. Tucked into your shirt. That’s just for you.
Sunglasses. Black or brown frame, black, tortoise or brown lenses. Outside only. On your collar inside, never in your hair.
Never sit on a barstool where your feet don’t touch the ground. Stand. Order something dark. On the rocks or neat. Never with cola.
The only cocktails to order are Old Fashioned’s and Manhattans, or the establishment’s unique equivalent. Dirty martinis on holidays. Extra olive juice.
Never anything with a straw.
If you must have a beer, no orange slices, no blueberries, no watermelon. Absolutely no fruit.
Cigar or cigarette. Carry your own matches.
The only thing a man should look like he needs is a woman on his arm.
DAY 21: THE MAZE DAY 20: HALFWAY DAY 18 AND 19: ON THE BIRDCAGE DAY 17: WHEN I SEE THIS BAR DAY 16: DEAR MOM DAY 15: IF I WON THE LOTTERY DAY 14: ON CATS AND DOGS DAY 13: ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS (PART 1) DAY 12: MAKING MY WAY BACK TO CLEVELAND DAY 11: ON FIRE DAY 10: ON CONNOTATION AND DENOTATION DAY 9: ON THE TIME I BROKE MY RIBS DAY 8: ON THE FOUR UNDERSTANDINGS FOR A HAPPY LIFE DAY 7: DEAR ERIC DAY 6: ON WHY YOU’RE HAVING TROUBLE DATING IN YOUR 20′S, LADIES DAY 5: ON SUNRISES AND SUNSETS DAY 4: ON PARADISE DAY 3: ON SMOKE AND WHISKEY DAY 2: ON HOW CLOSE I WAS TO NOT EVEN GOING TO COLLEGE DAY 1: WHY I’M WRITING EVERY DAY FOR 40 DAYS