I’ve always been a dog person. I’ve never actually had one of my own, though.
Growing up we had almost every kind of pet you could imagine. Dozens of fish, way too many hamsters, an iguana, a bird, hermit crabs. Anything our small apartment could fit, we had it.
Toward the end of high school, my brother adopted a stray cat. And then another from a shelter.
My mom was always a dog person, too, but she found herself loving these four-legged beasts before too long. By my junior year of college, there were four cats at home.
The difference between a cat and a dog is as simple (and as complex) as the difference between men and women.
Dogs are face value. What you see is what you get. They aren’t capable of masking feelings or pretending to be what they are not.
They are simple. They are dogs.
You know that. They know that. It works.
They’ll play with you whenever you want. They’re always happy to see you. They’re down to have a beer and watch the game, or go for a walk to the park, or whatever else you want. They’re up for anything. It’s very hard to misunderstand a dog.
Cats are different. Cats are complex balls of irrational emotion, fury, love and rage.
When you first get a kitten, they’re very loving. Plenty of purring, nuzzling, meowing and affection. You can’t get enough.
Could this get any better?! you think to yourself.
They start to get a little older. They start to get used to you and your habits. They despise you for these habits.
How come I’m not a part of everything you do every time you do it and always and forever?
Why do you leave every morning and come back so late? Where have you been? What have you been doing? Were you thinking of me? I’ve been in this house ALL DAY and haven’t been fed yet, do you even care?
Cats think a lot. They plot. There’s more going on between those “adorable” ears than meets the eye. That wheel is always turning.
You come home.
Whatever. Have you fed me yet? No. Ok.
I shit in your shoes and threw up on your brand new sheets.
You feed it. You throw out your shoes. You burn your sheets.
You find yourself so grateful for that little affection you forgot that the kitten you bought, vaccinated, care for, house and feed just shit in your shoes and threw up on your brand new sheets.
You come home after playing with your friend’s dog. The cat knows. She can smell it on you. It might as well be written on your face. You can see the resentment in the cat’s eyes. You can sense her fury in the way she walks around the apartment you pay for like she owns it. She’s mad at you. She won’t talk to you the rest of the night. You will pay.
You come home after playing with your friend’s new kitten. You’re going to wish you were out rolling around with five dogs.
DAY 13: ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS (PART 1) DAY 12: MAKING MY WAY BACK TO CLEVELAND DAY 11: ON FIRE DAY 10: ON CONNOTATION AND DENOTATION DAY 9: ON THE TIME I BROKE MY RIBS DAY 8: ON THE FOUR UNDERSTANDINGS FOR A HAPPY LIFE DAY 7: DEAR ERIC DAY 6: ON WHY YOU’RE HAVING TROUBLE DATING IN YOUR 20′S, LADIES DAY 5: ON SUNRISES AND SUNSETS DAY 4: ON PARADISE DAY 3: ON SMOKE AND WHISKEY DAY 2: ON HOW CLOSE I WAS TO NOT EVEN GOING TO COLLEGE DAY 1: WHY I’M WRITING EVERY DAY FOR 40 DAYS