Day 6: On why you’re having trouble dating in your 20’s, ladies

Ladies, ladies, ladies.

The deck is stacked against you these days, or so it seems. You grew up watching movies with princesses. You planned your whole wedding inside your 11-year-old mind. You can see your Prince Charming. It’s perfect.

You’re now in your 20’s. You’ve graduated from college. You had expected to be married and have kids by 25. You’re not even close.

What happened? Why are there no good guys? Why is dating so difficult?!

There are two possible reasons for your distress.

Not to worry, I’m here to troubleshoot your disappointing life.

Reason 1: Dating really isn’t a top priority for you right now.

You think it is, but it’s really not. You’re focused on your career. You’re working long hours, putting in the extra effort, hustling, grinding. You’re out of the  house early and not back until late.

In between your long work hours, you are dedicated to fitness. You run in the morning, do yoga on the weekends, get to the gym a few times a week. This takes up a good amount of your free time, but you refuse to compromise.

In the very slim sliver of available time in your life, you’re a good daughter, a good sister, a good friend. The people in your life are important to you and you make time for them.

And then, right before you close your eyes to go to sleep, you think to yourself,

“Why can’t I find a man? What’s wrong with me?”

Nothing.

This is the situation you want to be in. Keep doing you.

When you least expect it, the right guy will come out of nowhere and add more value to your already incredibly rewarding life. He won’t make you sacrifice the things you love but will share in them. He won’t add to your stress load but appreciate what your goals are and how dedicated you are to them. He will make your life easier, not more stressful.

He won’t be perfect, but he’ll be perfect for you.

Reason #2: You’re a fucking embarrassment.

“Why aren’t there any nice guys out there?! UGH!” you post on your Facebook page, sandwiched in between a dozens photos of you from last night with your ass hanging out of your dress and a dozen photos of you slamming shots of vodka with 14 linebacker-sized guys with Affliction T-shirts on.

You graduated college a couple years ago with a liberal arts degree, but are working as a bartender part-time and living at home. You have no aspirations to go back to school, seek a job in the field you received a degree in and are really excited about going to the foam party in downtown next weekend.

“OMG. The creepiest guy just tried to talk to me at the bar. THANKS FOR THE DRINK, CREEP,” you post on your Facebook.

There are nice guys out there, and, believe me, we notice you. But we’re steering clear. Nice guys are also busy guys, and we have no time for your nonsense.

You’re beautiful, way too pretty and you’ve probably been told that way too many times. But your beauty won’t last forever. There’s a chance you’ll turn things around and be a worthy partner for one of us, but we need to see more from you before getting in there.

We want a girl that will add value to our lives, but we don’t have a lot of time for drama, and you have “batshit crazy” written all over you (figuratively and literally) in permanent marker from the bar last night.

“I was SOOOOOO hungover this morning that I threw up at work.”

Cute. Please accompany me to my family function.

I’m not saying that you should be sober and quiet throughout your 20’s. You definitely should raise some hell and get weird. I do.

It’s about balance. It’s about discretion. Stop airing all your grievances on social media. We don’t want to be with someone who, after a fight, is likely to vent it all on Facebook. You’re embarrassing yourself and us.

You need to have goals. You need to be driven. You need to stop fucking twerking.

You need to know who you are, what you want, where you’re from and where you want to go. You need to have an understanding of what you need to do to get there. You need to make the mature decisions to put yourself on the right track to achieving these goals. Once you have those things down, dating will find its place.

Having trouble figuring out which reason is you? Take a look in the mirror and think deeply about what’s important to you.

If the thought of taking a selfie crosses your mind, it’s the second one.

__

DAY 5: ON SUNRISES AND SUNSETS
DAY 4: ON PARADISE
DAY 3: ON SMOKE AND WHISKEY
DAY 2: ON HOW CLOSE I WAS TO NOT EVEN GOING TO COLLEGE
DAY 1: WHY I’M WRITING EVERY DAY FOR 40 DAYS
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